#LMFAO: Dispatches From The Other Side

Saw this today. It’s not funny. I’m not saying it’s funny. Because it’s not. Okay FFS. OF COURSE IT IS FUNNY!!! It is somewhat difficult for a nonfiction me (you see, I’m not even saying ‘nonfiction readers’) to comprehend it because I am people. And people are people, and people are mean pricks.

I have read quite a shelf full of distressing reads (FGM, torture, famine, rape, execution, you know, stuff that makes the world go around in circles). But to beg ask for books to emotionally destroy me would be quite, morbid. Sadistic, even.

The irony is – If that question came out of my mouth, I’d be damned. Especially if it’s in a nonfiction group. But of course, we’ll never be able bring ourselves to ask such a question. It’ll unlikely cross most of our minds to phase it that way, I reckon. Can you imagine people racing to recommend nonfiction five star reads that are emotionally destroying? That’s kinda f*cking, weird f*cked-up, no?

FFS, stop making fun of fiction, you mean prick!

But, wait. Nonfiction has been similarly mocked as boring as f*ck and prudish so let me have my I-am-superior post day, okay?

Without further mockery, let me think of imagine an emotionally destroying read for this young lady…

Okay. How about this: A chicklit (duh), where Barney’s goes bankrupt, the entire 5th Avenue is sold to a real estate tycoon who wishes to turn it into Wall Street #2, make-ups are banned across the bloody world, and the leading dashing and dapper bloke Ryan Reynolds look-alike marries the antagonist b*tch? Perhaps that would emotionally destroy this reader.

Nah. I gotta try harder next time.

p.s. This mean prick (yours truly, who else) will attempt to leave this group the minute a similar post pops up. But seriously, I still think I am having too much fun… So…

Ads on Kindle

Came on here just to give my 2.1 cents worth on “ads” on Kindle.

Some soon-to-be Kindle newbie started a thread on a bookworm group asking the differences between Kindle’s “with special offers” option and the other which is “without special offers”.

Now, for those of you who don’t own a Kindle (or refuse to own one), here’s what it means:

“With special offers” means it comes with ads. The ads doens’t flash around like a drunk dancer, it just quietly uploads when it’s connected to the Internet and appears on the screen whenever you turn on the Kindle. It’s also located in a discreet bar once you’re at the homepage.

“Without special offers” means no ads. Well, you get the idea.

The comments varied, some for and the others against. Mostly are “for”, including yours truly. We agreed that the ads are non-invasive (non-intrusive, whichever), and that paying extra for no ads is simply an experience that’s not worth the penny.

I added that the ads are not that bad. If you think about it, while it’s an “ad”, it’s about a bloody book. It’s not Head & Shoulders, it’s not Make Up Forever. It’s not weed killers. It’s just a bloody, book.

If you think further, it’s actually about those very people who actually writes books for us to read, to devour, to criticize, to love, to hate. The ads allow them a chance (fair or unfair, I don’t know the innerworks of the dirty world of publishing) to be discovered. New writers, new series, debut novel, the whole shebang. It’s a book eat book(nerds) world. Why not?

So, here’s the question: What’s the big deal with ads on your bloody Kindle? Is it so much of a big deal that you can’t even tolerate a book advert on a book-friendly device? It’s like you walk into a bookshop but you insist on paying the shopkeeper to shield book promotions away from you so that you could browse in peace.


Amazon is smart (I’m not saying you are stupid for not seeing this) because it is Amazon. They recognize that some people are just, people. So they give these people the option to choose to go ad-free with the “without special offers” option.

But if you are smart, you’d know that by purchasing the “with special offers”, you will be presented with the option to pay a fee to remove ads completely.

But that’s if you’re smart. Wait. No. This is common sense. Not because you gotta be smart. Unless you were born yesterday.

The ads, remember, are about BOOKS. Not Ashley Madison, not teeth whitening, not Indiegogo, not weed killers (weed killers are badass).

Them “ads” they don’t just explode at your face while you are reading. This is not YouTube!